Beyond One: Navigating the Rise of Single Child Families and Personal Choices in Infertility

Many of us are not 'one and done' by choice. Our experiences as a family of three have encouraged us to reflect on the future differently.

In recent years, I've found myself at toddler birthday parties discussing parenting with other parents. As our children played together, my new fri exclmed enthusiastically, They're having so much fun together! She then inquired curiously, Are you going to try for another one? To give your son someone to play with? My response was something vague, like, Oh yeah...we'll see. No one knew about the emotional toll I was facing as I recovered from an early miscarriage following IVF treatment.

Infertility is defined by the inability to conceive after 12 months of trying for a non-infertile couple. The condition can be due to problems with either or both partners, which might include irregular menstrual cycles in women or low sperm counts in men. Each year, millions of individuals struggle with infertility worldwide. It's an experience shared by many.

For me, my journey began after I was diagnosed with PCOS polycystic ovary syndrome, a condition that affects hormonal balance and reproductive health. Although this diagnosis explned why I had struggled to conceive naturally, it was not enough. I decided to explore the option of IVF in vitro fertilization when our attempts at natural conception fled.

During my IVF journey, my husband and I experienced mixed emotions as we underwent numerous treatments. We hoped that each cycle would bring us closer to parenthood but were unfortunately met with disappointment after every unsuccessful attempt.

Nestled within the vast sea of infertility support groups online, it became clear that our one-child family was becoming increasingly common. A growing number of individuals are choosing to limit their families due to various reasons including financial considerations, career ambitions, or personal choices.

Despite societal pressures encouraging larger families and the misconception that having just one child is somehow inadequate, single-child households have been steadily rising over recent years. The official figures show a significant increase from 7.5 of families in 1986 to 15.1 as of 2021.

As I sit with my son, cherishing our indepent moments together and enjoying his shared experiences with fris, I can't help but think about the potential futures we might have explored had life been different for us. Yet, each experience - from the grief to the gratitude - adds a unique layer of understanding and appreciation.

While acknowledging the profound emotions associated with what we've lost or could have been, we also recognize the beauty in our current family dynamic. Our trio has become a symbol of love, resilience, and shared experiences that define us uniquely.

Reflecting on my journey as a parent, I've realized that our experience is far from unique - it's part of a larger narrative shaping modern family dynamics globally. Despite the challenges infertility presents, there's hope in embracing what life allows rather than fighting agnst predetermined expectations.

Our story encourages empathy and understanding for those navigating their own paths towards parenthood or deciding to limit their families differently.

Mia Ristovska is a social worker and clinical leader living on Quandamooka land. You can follow her on Twitter @themiasandrist.

is part of our ongoing series exploring the complexities of infertility, family planning, and personal choices. Join us as we delve deeper into stories that challenge societal norms and highlight diverse experiences of parenthood.

Explore more on these topics:

Fertility problems,

IVF,

Parents and parenting,

Miscarriage,

Women's health,

Pregnancy
This article is reproduced from: https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2023/aug/01/secondary-infertility-pregnancy

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